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lucifersprizeSo, I ditched most of my social media and fandom. The current state of the world is not healthy to ruminate on and most of my news is depressing. SPN and the majority of fandom was not 'bringing me joy' but I still enjoy the fic and art. I no longer have discord, Tumblr, Twitter or DW. Rerettably, I still have f/b but that is because elderly family don't have an alternative.
In the end though, the one place I found I couldn't kick to the kerb was this annoyingly clunky website with it's stupid restricted post size. In truth I can't abandon the friends, the community or the art.The real kicker was not being able to comment on a lot of the wonderful BB content this year or creep on flisties personal achievements and battles. This tiny corner still feels like a safe space despite the fact that it's the one site where it shouldn't. A lot of my fic is still on AO3, the rest will remain here and it's a bit of hassle to search through it all but I will try to organise and update my fic and art lists.
I decided to jump back in with both feet, so paid package it is, to bore folks with my photos.
I'm not sure what direction this will take me, or if I will post much at all. I may still write J2 but right now real life is taking all my energy, leaving just enough to read - and on that note, there is some great Big Bang content this year, so there's a general rec from me. I definitely want to continue to be active with![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
spn_darkside but since I don't intend to reinstate DW and doubt I will watch the final season I'll have to see how that will work.
As I said, my personal news is not a lot of fun. My grown up daughter has had pneumonia and still has lung infection but is stubborn and impossible to reason with, so refuses to go back into hospital or give up smoking. I have backed off, she's an adult, I'm her mom, the more I push, the more she will push back, no doubt. My other kids jog along, courting disaster as late teens are inclined to do but avoiding it so far. My youngest son's pub is looking great and is exhausting for him but a lot of fun for me and I like to hang around the gardens which are still a little wild, doing a spot of gardening and watching out for the many pollinators, butterflies, birds and even stream life. I am pretty sure they have some reed buntings nesting in there and a mole was put back to safety, well away from pest control, after it wandered into the beer garden for dinner. Having a restaurant, rodent traps are essential but a conscious decision has been made and no chemicals or traps are used beyond the main building. They are thinking very hard about environment, which I guess is an advantage of young people being integral to the business. Their generation have a new mindset focused on their very survival. I benefit with sights like this.
I am getting to know the vet, way too well of late. TieshaBlackCat has had surgery, Lili-cat has had food poisoning, Cream has had surgery to remove a scent gland tumour, a big op for a small gerbil but not an unusual one. It was touch and go for all of them but they all pulled through and are enjoying life.
Nougat has his own battle. He has cancer and with multiple tumours popping up over his no-longer-young, 57g body, it is inoperable. He continues to be cheerful, cuddly and playful for now. Yesterday, I got out some of the things he loved playing with last Christmas, because it turns out that he will only be seeing the one. He had a blast playing in it all - crinkly paper, gift bags, wrapping tube, wooden tree, furry friends- he had a lot of fun zooming around so he was mostly just a blur for the camera. He went on to spend hours on his wheel - he isn't giving up just yet - so I will take what time we have got and make sure we both enjoy it. This may involve some very late nights (he gets up around midnight), but absolutely worth it.
It's been hot and humid so walking has mostly been in the evening or at night. It gives me a new skill to try with my camera and that's a great excuse to sit, entirely alone, on a storm-wet beach at 10.30pm and soothe my mood listening to the waves wash over the sand.
I guess I never truly went away. I didn't mean to panic anyone but I did need to take a break to work out where the negative and positive aspects of fandom and SM lie for me and my mental health. This is my positive - you are my positive. Thank you.
In the end though, the one place I found I couldn't kick to the kerb was this annoyingly clunky website with it's stupid restricted post size. In truth I can't abandon the friends, the community or the art.The real kicker was not being able to comment on a lot of the wonderful BB content this year or creep on flisties personal achievements and battles. This tiny corner still feels like a safe space despite the fact that it's the one site where it shouldn't. A lot of my fic is still on AO3, the rest will remain here and it's a bit of hassle to search through it all but I will try to organise and update my fic and art lists.
I decided to jump back in with both feet, so paid package it is, to bore folks with my photos.
I'm not sure what direction this will take me, or if I will post much at all. I may still write J2 but right now real life is taking all my energy, leaving just enough to read - and on that note, there is some great Big Bang content this year, so there's a general rec from me. I definitely want to continue to be active with
spn_darkside but since I don't intend to reinstate DW and doubt I will watch the final season I'll have to see how that will work.As I said, my personal news is not a lot of fun. My grown up daughter has had pneumonia and still has lung infection but is stubborn and impossible to reason with, so refuses to go back into hospital or give up smoking. I have backed off, she's an adult, I'm her mom, the more I push, the more she will push back, no doubt. My other kids jog along, courting disaster as late teens are inclined to do but avoiding it so far. My youngest son's pub is looking great and is exhausting for him but a lot of fun for me and I like to hang around the gardens which are still a little wild, doing a spot of gardening and watching out for the many pollinators, butterflies, birds and even stream life. I am pretty sure they have some reed buntings nesting in there and a mole was put back to safety, well away from pest control, after it wandered into the beer garden for dinner. Having a restaurant, rodent traps are essential but a conscious decision has been made and no chemicals or traps are used beyond the main building. They are thinking very hard about environment, which I guess is an advantage of young people being integral to the business. Their generation have a new mindset focused on their very survival. I benefit with sights like this.
I am getting to know the vet, way too well of late. TieshaBlackCat has had surgery, Lili-cat has had food poisoning, Cream has had surgery to remove a scent gland tumour, a big op for a small gerbil but not an unusual one. It was touch and go for all of them but they all pulled through and are enjoying life.
Nougat has his own battle. He has cancer and with multiple tumours popping up over his no-longer-young, 57g body, it is inoperable. He continues to be cheerful, cuddly and playful for now. Yesterday, I got out some of the things he loved playing with last Christmas, because it turns out that he will only be seeing the one. He had a blast playing in it all - crinkly paper, gift bags, wrapping tube, wooden tree, furry friends- he had a lot of fun zooming around so he was mostly just a blur for the camera. He went on to spend hours on his wheel - he isn't giving up just yet - so I will take what time we have got and make sure we both enjoy it. This may involve some very late nights (he gets up around midnight), but absolutely worth it.
It's been hot and humid so walking has mostly been in the evening or at night. It gives me a new skill to try with my camera and that's a great excuse to sit, entirely alone, on a storm-wet beach at 10.30pm and soothe my mood listening to the waves wash over the sand.
I guess I never truly went away. I didn't mean to panic anyone but I did need to take a break to work out where the negative and positive aspects of fandom and SM lie for me and my mental health. This is my positive - you are my positive. Thank you.
